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The journal of Captain Obvious

Discussion in 'Red Dead Discussion' started by Chinny-againny, Feb 26, 2013.

  1. Chinny-againny

    Chinny-againny Gunslinger

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    For the three of you still following this thread. Thanks. I'm starting to run out of things to write about after all these years. I'll try to come up with some new stuff but if anyone has suggestions for a conversation that "The NOOB" and "Captain Obvious" could have that has not been addressed....let me know...
     
  2. Chinny-againny

    Chinny-againny Gunslinger

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    The NOOB sits on a fence near Macfarlan's Ranch. The Captain rides up on his black arabian horse.

    Captain: Whatcha doin' hangin' around the old map kid? Ain't nothing going on here but a most wanted shootout in Tumbleweed! Pikes Basin never even spawns a hideout anymore!

    NOOB: I dunno. I was just remembering the good old days when the macfarlans ranch shootout was one of the best.....everyone had the same guns and same abilities.....you couldn't drink "special tonics" so that others could not kill you....you only got deadeye by picking up a green box during the match....it was so much more fair....

    Captain: I think yer memory is a bit fuzzy buddy. Maybe it seems more fair now but the fact that it was so even made a lot of people find ways to cheat. Member the guys who'd spin around faster than it was actually possible and you'd miss them every time? remember the guys who'd win matches without getting killed once? remember the lag switchers? Seemed like you had to vote somebody out of a lobby nearly every match? So how is that any different than what is going on now?

    NOOB: I guess maybe you're right. Ability cards, deadeye, and your own weapon loadout don't make that much difference when you think about it. Some a-hole is always going to find a way to cheat or use a trick to get the upper hand. At least they have nerfed some stuff along the way.

    Captain: Listen kid, the thing is, you don't have to win every match. Heck.....you probably won't. You might get a 6 or 10 game streak but wiht new updates coming why not do some bounty hunting? Even the Showdown large matches are starting to get a bit old....and regular showdown is just 10 different types of capture the bag games these days. Go play some free roam events.....become a bounty hunter next week....stop all the worrying.

    NOOB: Thanks Captain obvious I feel better now.

    Captain: Just one thing though.....I found something that might bring back some memories.... (captain pulls out a high power pistol)

    NOOB: WOW! An HPP! Is that new content or -

    BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
    Captain shoots NOOB in the face five times.....

    Captain: Never gets old......never gets old........

    THNSAWOITS
     
  3. Chinny-againny

    Chinny-againny Gunslinger

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    The noob sits on the seat of a bounty Wagon near Armadillo....he appears sad. The captain rides up on his horse.

    NOOB: Oh....hey captain obvious....

    Captain: why the long face kid?

    Noob: I'm so sad. I just want to be a bounty hunter and other players are griefing me. Maybe I should become a collector instead.

    Captain: and go out collecting eagle eggs and trinkets for an old gypsy? That sounds stupid.

    Noob: Well maybe a trader then?

    Captain: And wait for Cripps to set up your camp every time you want to play? No way. Bounty hunter is the way to go. You won't make as much money but the gold is good as are the rewards. You tellin' me you don't want those pistol twirling skills? Plus the bounty missions are pretty fun.

    NOOB: Okay maybe you're right......

    Captain: You KNOW I'm right......Now go out there and get hunting!
     

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